Adopting a child and giving a home are two of the greatest gifts one can give a child. It is a perfect way to provide them with a nurturing and safe growing environment. However, blending in an adoptive child with biological children is quite challenging, especially when the kids are old enough. There are always situations that occur, causing conflicts between birth and adopted kids, each one trying to get their rights.

Parents should be responsible for all children regardless of their birth status and give them space to process their feelings. Raising both adopted and biological kids is challenging to meet each kid’s specific needs and maintain love for each child. For easy transition and adaption parents should offer equal love to the kids. The siblings will emulate the same love and the blend will be natural.

Tips to consider when blending in an adoptive child with biological children

There are some challenges and confusion after adopting a child when you already have biological kids. Here are helpful tips to consider when you add the adopted child with biological children.

• Prepare biological kids for a new one.

It is advisable to communicate with your kids and tell them the reason you are adopting. This ensures they don’t feel neglected or they are not enough in the family. Talk to them about the benefits of adopting and how they should show some love to the new siblings. If they feel insecure about a new addition, assure them everything will work well, and that love for them will not decrease.

• Acceptance for the adopted child

Teach the biological kid to completely accept the new sibling and each other with their talents, abilities and disabilities, weaknesses, strengths and physical differences. They will eventually be their siblings when they accept and love them.

• Consider the birth order between the adopted and biological child.

Biological kids may feel humiliated when their parents adopt older kids than them. If the parent is thinking of adopting an older kid, it is good for a parent to consider the oldest biological feelings.

• Educate your kids about adoption.

If the kids are old enough, teach them about adoption, express love language when explaining the process, and encourage them to do the same when they grow up. Share as many adoption details as possible, answer their questions if they ask you, and emphasize the importance of keeping these family details private.

• Let the children know each other.

The kids need to have a chance to get to know each other, even if the process will take time. Let them talk and discuss their background stories together and also their interests. This will make them understand one another easily and be comfortable with one another to open up.

•  Fun days with all the kids.

The best way to bond with adopted and biological kids is to have fun together. The more fun a parent has with the kids, the more likely a sincere attachment takes root. Family fun activities include:

• Taking kids on vacation
• Having a day trip to a lake or beach
• Visiting national parks
• Playing video games or cards

• Avoid favoritism

Parents with adopted kids should be overly concerned about their feelings and also buy them gifts to make them feel welcome. For the biological kids, you must be careful not to dismiss their emotions to avoid hatred between them. It is good to try to equalize them together.

• Seek professional help

Visiting a family counsellor can help open the lines of communication between adopted and biological kids with the parents. If there are some difficulties with this new transition the children will freely express their ideas or challenges for their safety.

• Surround them with Love language.

Teach the kids about others and express love in a way each child will feel. Let the kids know that they are differently made with unique feelings. Showing love is the best way to make them feel secure, safe and happy. Keep reminding them that you love them verbally or physically, like hugging them.

• Celebrate the differences

Adopted kids might differ from the rest of the family members, depending on race or origin. The physical difference are quite obvious but shouldn’t be emphasized. It is good to make their origin part of your family. This can be done by deepening your understanding and building your connection with the adopted kids' cultural background. Appreciating the differences will help them feel well-adjusted.

• Incorporate regular family meetings.

Regular meetings in a family will allow everyone to express their ideas and feel heard. A happy family keeps the channels of communication open with everyone in the house and omits all the differences during the transition period. The kids should be listened to individually and get answered by the parents.

• Provide attention and assurance.

Little kids need more time and attention than older children, where extra care is needed. Let your biological kid know that although you might incorporate new kids in the family, you will be there for them when they need you.

• Establish permanency for the adopted kid.

As the adopted kids grow old, they experience some trauma of not truly being worthy in the family. Establishing permanency is the key to building trust and an overall bond with the child.  One needs to have legal documentation or change of names to family name. Parents can also include the children to the inheritance documentation to create assurance which helps feel safe and secure in the family throughout their lives.